I suppose I should start out by introducing myself. I go by the name Amadeus because it means Love of God and it is what the Lord calls me. For a long time I felt unworthy of that because I felt unworthy of His love, but in retrospect He was calling me that to bring my true nature to light. I have a preference for not being noticed and keeping myself a mystery to most people, ironic since He calls me out of that at every opportunity like writing a blog. Being the Love of God wasn’t really in keeping with that preference because you can’t have a healthy relationship with God but not have a healthy relationship with people.

With that out of the way I want to talk about my biggest obstacle in writing, being willing to share what I write with other people. The works I do always reveal more of me than I care to reveal be it in being honest about the struggles I face, or not being able to hide the true condition of my heart. Not that the condition of my heart is unhealthy but rather giving up that air of mystery I surround myself in. The Lord confronted me about my problem the other day asking me if I really believed that what He has blessed me with was meant to be hidden away or if the insecurity I had was leading me down a path He did not desire for me to walk. For down that path I would be known to no one, secure in my knowledge that no one would ever be able to speak into my heart, least of all Him. That scared me immensely because I only hope for the dreams He lays upon my heart and to remove those would be worse than dying. So here I am being honest about what is in my heart so that the name that God has given me would not fall on unworthy shoulders because being the Love of God isn’t a title but rather an invitation to walk the path I have so tentatively stepped upon.

That should be enough for now. Not sure how long most of these post will be or how frequent but when I have something to say I intend to say it, without fear or remorse, because that is the least that I can do to be obedient to the Lord who has given me everything I need.